relationships

1.
he cheated on you. a lot. he still does it. he treats you like shit and makes you do things for him and blames you when things don't go his way, and even though you grew up homeless and he grew up rich, he still makes you buy $200 things for him every week. and every time you finally do the smart thing and break up with him or try to leave, you just come crawling back within 24 hours even though you know nothing good will come from it. you fight every day and are forced to be around people you can't stand. you're completely and utterly whipped, and you will do whatever he tells you to do because you just want someone to love you, even though that someone will never be him.
you delete your entire facebook page just to save yourself from changing your relationship status to "single," which is probably one of the stupidest and most impulsive decisions you've made. you revive your facebook after 12 hours without it, even though you tell me how serious you are about cutting off all ties to the internet so you can spend more time studying and being with people who actually care about you. your relationship status still says "in a relationship." and news flash, it doesn't say, "in a relationship with _____" because he doesn't even consider himself in a relationship with you; his facebook says he's "married" to someone else. "don't kiss the ass that's shitting on you."
you ask for my advice and the advice of all your other friends, and we all tell you the same thing. and then you say one thing to us, but when it comes to actually fixing yourself and changing your life and making yourself happier, you change your mind at the last minute and become a pushover and come crawling back to him, and he doesn't even appreciate it. and then of course you feel like you've done us wrong, which you have, but that doesn't mean we'll hate you or treat you the way he treats you when he's mad. you decide to avoid us and leave us hanging without a word, and days later you spit out some excuse that we both know is bullshit. we aren't really your friends if you treat us the same way he's treating you.

2.
he's your first boyfriend and you think it will last forever. it lasts one month. it doesn't end badly, and you are still friends to this day. you spam the internet with facebook and xanga and whateverelseisoutthere posts about how heartbroken you are even though it happened over a year ago, and how lonely you are and how much you hate yourself even though you two are still extremely close. just because you aren't cuddling with him doesn't mean your life is shite. you upset even the nicest girl in the world, one of your best friends, who never ever gets upset at anything, but you're so selfish that you can't see how annoyed she is becoming, how you will just talk but never listen. you become so wrapped up in your breakup from a one-month relationship 15 months ago, but you don't even notice how your best friend is also dealing with heartbreak and negative feelings about herself, even though she says right to your face how she's never had a boyfriend before and she doesn't like when people always talk about themselves and complain.
I tell you I just broke up with my boyfriend, and instead of trying to make me feel better, you just say "oh me too--" and carry on with the long story that everyone knows because you won't let it just become private information between you and him. you wonder why he broke up with you in the first place. boys don't like dramatics.

3.
the first time we meet, I don't see you as a whore. I still don't, I never will. but then the stories come pouring out, how you've slept with so-and-so and how you've been with 4 guys since january and how you've had a zillion boyfriends in your life and a zillion other people who were never boyfriends, just casual fucks. you know this new guy for maybe a few weeks, and after you have dates with him you come back to our place and tell us the story, and your face lights up and we can't help but feel happy for you.
and then of course, before you are actually in a relationship with him, you let him touch you like that, and it isn't until a few weeks later that you find out he has genital herpes and never bothered to tell you. you don't know what to do. we're your friends and do what we can to help, or at least they do because you and me, we aren't really super close to begin with, I just really like hanging out with you in general. so everything gets sorted out, and you hate him, and then at that party you make out with a new guy, one who's ugly and rude and doesn't care about your feelings, as long as it means he gets some tongue action later. you do this with him just because it will make your ex jealous, and for good reason.
eventually things blow over and I thought that was the end of it. then the news on the grapevine is you're back together, and that's fine, if you worked it out. but is it true you aren't together anymore? were you even together, or did you just hook up more? we speak less than ever before, but it doesn't change the fact that you just can't let boys -- not men -- go.

conclusion.
people are so desperate for relationships. they will do whatever it takes to have someone to call when they're bored, or to have a name to go with the "in a relationship" status online. they will continue to be with people who don't care about them, and even though they know they'll get hurt a million times over in the future, they'll let it happen to them anyway, so long as they don't get hurt now. "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." they will complain and complain about the shit they get into when it's their own fault it's happening in the first place; they know nothing good will come of this relationship, but they let it happen regardless.
relationships aren't everything, because you realize there are other people in your life, like friends or family or even mere acquaintances that can treat you better than them. you have to get your priorities straight. we're young, we have plenty of time, there are other fish in the sea, and even if you had someone with you right now it doesn't mean forever. and the only relationship you should be having is the one with yourself because you matter more, and in the end, it is your happiness that should decide everything once and for all.