dear J and G:

I apologize for the fact that my first blogspot entry is rude and uncalled for, but this has been building up for a while now and it's about time I say something about it, even if it's not directly to your face [and don't worry, your reputations are not tarnished by this entry, considering I only have 1 follower].

let's start with the final straw, aka what happened today. monday after monday, I always do what you two want, even though you both know I don't eat subway and I hate walking to the opposite side of campus from where I live. but even if I whine about it once in a while, I still go because friends care more about each other than themselves. but today is the one day when I ask you guys to go somewhere I want to go, and you guys just make excuses and complain that the mall is too far away when HELLO, it's just down the street and you only have to cross one 2-lane street to get there. and cmon, you have the time to walk there, eat, and back. did you have something better to do with your free time? yeah, didn't think so. I walked there by myself AND back AND turned in all 7 of my applications AND bought food AND shopped...in just half an hour. so no, it isn't wasting your time. and what's this about the food court being "so 80s"? like that even makes sense. who DOESN'T eat in food courts, wtf?

second, our presentation for class. when we were working on the powerpoint at first, I participated and spoke up, but every single one of my ideas were shot down. so I shut up. and then J, you had the nerve to tell me I can "suggest anything anytime". seriously? I know I've been acting bitchy lately, but it's only because you two have been treating me like shit for the past few weeks. I'm not mean unless someone's mean to me first. if I ever act rude or say something bitchy to either of you, keep in mind that it's because of something you did/said to me first.

speaking of which, G, you've been saying some of the rudest things to me lately. on AIM, first you ask me out -- and I don't know if you were telling the truth when you said you didn't remember it, or if for some reason the message just popped up without you knowing -- and then when you keep bugging me about what you said [I never said it because it was something I didn't want to talk about; I was NOT playing hard to get], you had the gall to say I was just "one of those girls". okay, there is NO way I'm your only female friend. let me make this extremely clear to you: NO girl, whether you're joking or not or what kind of relationship you have with her, likes being referred to as "one of those girls". you might think it's no big deal to say it, but it's RUDE.

the second instance was when we were leaving class the time before our presentation. you kept saying how you would wear your 'fuck cancer' shirt, I said you shouldn't, and then you got all butt-hurt and told me to "get over myself". okay first of all, that doesn't even make sense. my telling you not to wear a shirt has nothing to do with me being full of myself...I mean really? and third was when we were actually working on our presentation and you kept spitting things out like "YOU'RE the jerk" and "yeah because you're SO cool" in that sarcastic way of yours that is NOT joking-sarcastic, but plain rude-sarcastic. we both know I'm a sarcastic person, and I know you have your moments too, but there's a difference between joking around and being downright disrespectful.

and then there comes AIM conversations in general with both of you that piss me off. J, I love when you start AIM conversations with me. I do NOT love, however, how you start it but don't have anything to say to me after that first message. I'll do my best to keep the convo going and to be silly, but you just reply with "lol" and "ahaha" and "=]" and then you HAVE to be the one to end the convo with an equally as short/bland message. why even AIM me if you don't want to talk to me? and G, it's fun talking to you too...when you aren't just trying to act cool and sarcastic. because like said, we're both sarcastic, but why can't we just have a normal conversation once in a while?

because you two are boys [gay or straight, it doesn't matter], I know you'll read this and think, "wtf, why is she getting so mad over something little like eating at the mall?" news flash, it's NOT just about the mall. I'm a girl. it's NEVER just about the mall. and like I said before [if you were reading closely enough], it's not the mall that I'm mad about. it's the fact that you two have REPEATEDLY treated me badly and very non-friend-like, and I've seriously had enough, although I don't hate you guys to the point where I'd yell at you to your face about it. but seriously, friends treat friends RIGHT. with friends, you have to think about the other person too, not JUST yourself and ALWAYS yourself. it's not always about you.

for example, K lives far, but he's willing to make the trip to my apartment just so we can hang out. he'll walk all the way to the mall with me for some little reason like getting ice cream in the winter or getting milk from trader joes. and you two? neither of you ever want to hang out [J always makes plans with us and then doesn't follow through, and G always uses the excuse that he lives too far from the city, which, granted, makes sense, but still]. I mean, cmon guys, at least make an effort.

once again, I'm sorry for saying all that I just said on an internet blog, but let's be honest, no one's going to read this or understand it except for you two, if you even read it in the first place. I'm not asking for a huge apology or for you to suck up to me or whatever. I just want you to understand and try to improve the way you treat me. we're supposed to be friends, guys.

all I can say now is: I'm glad the holidays start soon. I think we definitely need a small break from each other because absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

with love [really]:
Kristen.